I started and ended my day hugging strangers. That’s weird, right? I felt called to it. Lately, I feel like it’s my job to let every woman that I come across know that they are loved, strong, beautiful and seen. Why? Because I am finally realizing that about myself and I don’t want anyone to have to wait till they’re 40 to feel that.
This morning, I got some blood work done. I had the same phlebotomist the week before, so we exchanged pleasantries. She realized that we had the same General Practitioner, then suddenly she started sharing how she’s struggling, how her marriage wasn’t going well, how she feels lost, rejected and doesn’t understand what’s happening. She just sat there, empty vials in her rubber gloved hands, and tried to hold back tears. I told her she was going to be fine. To focus on her babies and herself and no matter what, she would be ok.
We talked some more, and she shared some more. Before I left, I gave her a hug and wrote down my phone number. I told her to call me when she needed anything at all, even if it’s just coffee and a smile. She texted me immediately after and thanked me, how she felt she had no one to talk with about these feelings. I was SO glad she took me up on my offer.
This evening, I took my boys for haircuts. The hair stylist was swamped, short staffed, and alone. She was doing what she could to try and smooth things over with irritated, waiting customers. As I pretended to read my book, I listened to her try and strike up positive conversation with a customer and change his attitude from “just cut my damned hair” to one of “let’s make this positive!”. She recommended Christmas gifts for his family and friends, and asked about any parties he would be going to. His responses were apathetic at best. I listened as other customers asked “how much longer” through gritted teeth, and watched as they rolled their eyes when she turned around.
It was our turn, and she said nothing. She quickly swept the discarded hair from the floor, looked at us and said “which one goes first”? I said, “YOU. Take a minute. Do you have to go to the bathroom, drink or eat something?” She looked at me like I punched her in the stomach and started crying.
“It’s been such a day”, she said.
“I know, I can see it. Want a hug”? I said.
And she said “I’ll ball”.
I said, “that’s ok. I hugged my phlebotomist this morning” and I hugged her.
She went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She came back out and thanked me. As she cut my boys hair, she talked about wanting to start her own family. She was planning out the life she would have with her husband, and was unsure as to the timing of it all, how she would make it work, child care, so many questions.
I wrote her a small note of thanks on a ripped piece of paper from my prescription, and left her with a small bottle of my fave essential oil “Into the Future” and my phone number. The note simply said “for all of your planning”. I told her to call when she wants to laugh, or needs a reminder to go to the bathroom.
Sisterhood. It’s what’s missing from our lives, ladies. We are so worried about how other women are cultivating their garden, what they have that we don’t, how they reach goals that we can’t. We fail to see that we all lack compassion for one another. Soft, feminine, loving, compassion.
Instead of ignoring the human condition, especially that of our sisters, step up, be soft and bring them closer. Let them know that we are here for them. A hug, coffee, a joke, a smile, whatever. We can only break down the walls of distrust by being the one that melts first.
This sisterhood can happen anywhere, and should happen everywhere. I have found immense support in The Infinity Call by Kelly Morris. I happened upon her over at Well + Good, and reached out to tell her how thankful I was for her voice and call to sisterhood. I subscribe to her daily (Monday – Friday at 10AM EST) meditations. At the end of each week she asks for her listeners to text her if they haven’t, for anything, and leaves her personal cell phone number. It’s a paid subscription ($.84 a day. Yes, that’s eighty-four cents), but, and this is huge…no one is turned away for lack of funds. She’s the genuine article.
This subscription is ONLY for women and I love that. It’s a safe, sacred space, to be soft, and open to the sisterhood call. I always walk away from the meditation calmer, stronger and clearer about my intentions. Even over the weekend, when I was in New York City with my husband, I recalled her metaphor for keeping your sacred space in the midst of chaos, and found myself closing my eyes throughout the weekend for moments at a time remembering her call to go back to that place of softness.
P.S. It’s my birthday this month, and I would love it if you could donate whatever you can to this organization. Why? Because I love elephants. Why? Because my grandmother did, and she is my muse, inspiration, heroine, and superwoman. She would have loved this. Thank you!